September 2010
38 posts
New Yorkers in sound & images
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Chuck Norris Facts →
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Some Favorites:
Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters… if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s fucking beef.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you play Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn’t even in a fucking bowling alley.
Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, “Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.”
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